doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize