Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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