I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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