She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
