Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He felt like a one man threesome
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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