things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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