If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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