I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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