Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
