oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize