Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
