Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
