Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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