What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
