Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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