She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
