I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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