at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
