I wish I only lived at night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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