i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize