i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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