I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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