Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We left the knife in your bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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