goodnight i made you a song goodbye
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
