Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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