yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
