i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
