We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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