He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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