I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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