A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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