and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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