What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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