ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
