I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
