I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
