Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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