The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
