Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
