just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So much rum. So many feels.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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