I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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