What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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