last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize