Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
