Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
