first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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