I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
