What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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