Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Four minutes until I can fart!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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