My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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