highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
