Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
