watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
this hospital has no fireball
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
