she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
