she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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