So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm at about main and main street
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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