Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
