I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
