How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My vagina just recognized that song.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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