I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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