I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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