brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
