so explain again why im purple
no
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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