i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize