And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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